Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life (A Continuation)

I

I: You might wonder, who is this I person I always hear about? And why does it matter if I thinks and, therefore, I exists? We as humans (at least the introverts among us) spend a lot of time figuring out exactly who I is and exactly what matters to I. If you ask me who I am, you'll get a different response depending on the time and place and my mood. I am flexible, I am fluid, I am liquid. I change. I wonder if the person I am now would get along with the person I was in the past and the person I will be in the future. I hope I can hang on to the things that matter. I am here. I exist. I matter. I am (see Identity, INFJ).

Icarus: Of all the characters in the great literary classics, Holden Caulfield takes second  among my favorite only to the boy who flew. Icarus and his father Daedalus were stranded on an island, prisoners of King Minos's paranoia. Daedalus, thinking he was clever, built two pairs of wings, one for himself and one for his son. Daedalus warned his son of the danger of flying too high or too low before equipping them both with the wings. Icarus, absorbed by the euphoria of flying, soared toward the firmament. The heat from the son melted the wax which held together his wings, and he plummeted to the ocean in a flurry of feathers. I'm obsessed with the story--not only with the flight, but also with the fall. I think there was something glorious in that descent. The story reminds me that I am human, and that I shouldn't try to fly--much less to fly too high. But when I get distracted by the events in my life, I tend to fly high and fall hard.

Ice Cream: Ice cream has therapeutic properties. I remember spending many a Saturday night in college with my best friend Rilee, commiserating over our lousy love lives over a pint of strawberry ice cream and an episode of Trading Spaces. I would even go so far as to say that ice cream once saved my life. 

Identity: The longer I live, the more I try to figure out my identity. Yes, I'm Jesse William Birnstihl. But who am I?

Idiosyncratic Routine: Chasing Amy was my favorite movie for several years back when I was in college. The name of the comic book that Amy drew in the movie has always lingered in my mind. I wish it was a real series. I would actually read it.

If: If is one of my favorite words. I like the conditional that it implies. If you do this, you will get that. If only everything could be predicted with an if-then pattern, life would be much easier.

Imagination: When I was young, I had a vivid imagination. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night because I would tell elaborate stories in my mind. Most of the time, these stories would involve me being the fifth Ninja Turtle or the sixth Planeteer. As I got older, my imagination shrank like a cheap cotton t-shirt. I can still engineer a story, but it never has the richness or the depth that those nighttime imaginings once had.

Immortality: I don't think I would want to live forever. But ask me again when I'm older.

Inca: I was one of the counselors in the Inca cabin for three summers at Camp Mitton, a camp for kids in crisis situations. It was always the youngest boys cabin. My co-counselor and I would typically have eight boys between the ages of 6 and 8. We would begin every morning reciting the Inca Warrior's Mantra: We are brave. We are strong of heart. We are kind to others. We share what we have. We trust in our fellow warriors. We carry friendship like a strong shield. We listen to our elders. We are always learning and growing. Above all, we show respect at all times. This is the mark of the warrior. We are proud to be known as INCA! We also conducted daily warrior training, in which our charges would learn cooperation, patience, and problem-solving through imaginary quests. At the end of the session, we would hold a warrior's initiation ceremony; each warrior would be marked with ashes from an ancestral fire and would receive a warrior's name, such as Mighty Bear or Singing Bird. It was a mark of pride for each of these young boys, a rite of passage. They--and I--will always be Inca Warriors.

Independence Day: Fourth of July was always a fun holiday when I was a kid. I'm not especially patriotic, but I always enjoyed being in the parade and the contests at the park. My mom and dad always liked having their grandchildren home for this holiday, and so my siblings and I all came home for Independence Day in 2011. It's the last time we were all together while my dad was still alive. We all had so much fun that we agreed to meet again at the same time the next year, but instead the next time we all got together was for my dad's funeral the following June. I don't remember what I did for Independence Day that summer; most of the six months following my dad's death is a bit of a blur. I don't think it will ever be quite the same.

Indian Food: Indian food is one of my greatest delights in life. The heat of curry, the mildness of homemade cheese curds, the earthiness of tandoori. It is balanced and beautiful, a symphony for the tastebuds. 

Insight: My blue Honda Insight is the first car I have purchased for myself. I take a lot of pride in driving a hybrid; I feel I am being both economical and environmentally conscious. I wish hybrids would go down in price so more people would buy them; most people prefer a more powerful car, or one that is roomier, or one that is more prestigious. I feel that hybrid owners are kind of a secret community. Only once have I ever seen another blue Insight. It was around Christmas, at Northlake Mall. As I was leaving the mall, so was a young family in a blue Honda Insight. They honked and waved excitedly. I remember this as one of my happiest moments behind the wheel.

Insults: "Write injuries in dust, benefits in marble." Benjamin Franklin. Easier said than done, Ben. I hold grudges for a long time.

Internet: The Internet was just becoming prolific when I was in high school. I remember getting my first e-mail account and building my first website using HTML. 

INFJ: The first time I took a Myers-Briggs Personality Type Assessment, I was in ninth grade. It was part of our civics class. I thought it was fascinating. I answered a bunch of yes/no questions, and they told me which of 16 basic "types" of people I am. My results remained with me: INFJ. Introverted, intuitive, feeling, and judging. The description fit me well. But over time, when I took the assessment again in books and online, I shifted to ENFJ, then to ENFP. Out of curiosity, I just took an online assessment to see who I am today. I'm back to INFJ.

iPod: I am a proud owner of the first generation iPod. Since then, I have become an Apple fanboy. I am attached to my iPhone and can scarcely remember life before these technologies. I wish I had become addicted to Droid, because Apple and Google don't play nice together, but I have invested way too much in Apple to switch now.

Iron Range: I grew up on the Iron Range, in northern Minnesota. The area was originally settled primarily for taconite mining; hence, the name. The Iron Range is cold and unexciting. The towns are small. The people are kind (mostly). The businesses are moderate. Life is generally acceptable, with a touch of sadness. The only part of me that wants to go back is the part that misses my mom. She works for a small, local history museum and is their only paid employee. She will be happy to give you a tour, if you ever make it up that way. It's not somewhere I love, but it's a big part of who I am. I think the Iron Range taught me important, traditional American values: hard work, discipline, and loyalty.