Tiny Masters: The Cakemaster

An Interview with the Cakemaster

I recently had the opportunity to speak with the Cakemaster, renowned in certain circles for his delectable desserts.

Interviewer: Word has it that your friends call you the Cakemaster.

Cakemaster: (looks down sheepishly, a ghost of a smile playing across his face) I don’t know that you can call me a master of anything, but I do enjoy baking cakes, and my friends do enjoy eating them.

Interviewer: How old were you when you baked your first cake?

Cakemaster: Honestly, I don’t remember. I spent a lot of time in the kitchen with my mom when I was young. I was in 4-H, and one of my categories was Foods. My mom taught me everything I know about cooking and baking.

Interviewer: So your mother was a cake expert as well?

Cakemaster: Oh, she was and still is far superior to me. She can bake cakes from scratch and make the most amazing frosting. More importantly, she has an incredible talent for cake decoration. Me, I’m lucky if I can spread frosting on a cake without ripping the surface and spreading crumbs. But Mom could really decorate cakes. She took a class on it once, I believe. She had all these different tools for decorating cakes; tips that could be used to create different patterns of piping and whatnot. She would make tiny yellow flowers out of frosting. Sometimes she would make dozens of extras and just store them in the freezer for the next cake.

Interviewer: That sounds pretty impressive.

Cakemaster: It fascinated me. The most memorable photos from my childhood are of me with the cakes my mom made. I remember very distinctly a cake in the shape of a clown, and later a cake with a My Little Pony painted on with frosting.

Interviewer: But you don’t decorate your cakes like that?

Cakemaster: No, I never was good at it. My hands are too clumsy. I like to decorate my cakes with crushed up candy--Heath bars, Whoppers, M&Ms, whatever.

Interviewer: Sweet on sweet?

Cakemaster: What can I say? I like my desserts sweet.

Interviewer: So you learned to bake cakes from your mother.

Cakemaster: Indeed. I was probably eleven or twelve when I made my first cake. Mom almost always made her cakes from scratch. She had this old Betty Crocker cookbook. I think that’s where the recipes came from. Even more important was that the frosting was homemade, too. Mom made the best frosting. I could eat it for days.

Interviewer: Do you make your own frosting?

Cakemaster: (whispering conspiratorially) I cheat on the cakes. Most of the time I make the cakes using a boxed mix, unless it’s for someone really special or for a very important event. But the frosting--the frosting is always homemade. Canned frosting just isn’t the same.

Interviewer: What’s your favorite frosting to make?

Cakemaster: I love butter cream and chocolate butter cream, but I like making cream cheese frosting the best. It’s so easy: a package of cream cheese, a package of confectioner’s sugar, a splash of milk, some butter, and a healthy dose of vanilla--I always go overboard with vanilla, and I only use the cheap imitation stuff (it just tastes so good!)--put it all in a bowl and mix it on medium speed for about two minutes. Nothing could be easier, and people always rave about it, as if I’ve done anything more complex than following a simple recipe. I haven’t. Anyone could make this frosting if they could just follow the directions.

Interviewer: You make it sound so easy.

Cakemaster: It is. And the great thing about cream cheese frosting is that it enhances almost any cake--chocolate, carrot, red velvet. I’ve never tried it with a lemon cake but I bet it would be amazing.

Interviewer: Carrot cake? Lemon? Those are some adventurous flavors.

Cakemaster: I’ve only made one carrot cake in my life. It was for a colleague’s birthday. I have this thing where I always make a cake for my coworker/friends’ birthdays. We share them with the lunch crew. Anyway, this one time my friend Nan asked for a carrot cake, and I obliged. I made it from scratch. It was an insane amount of work. I about bled to death from grating three pounds of carrots. Never again.

Interviewer: It sounds like you really put your heart into it.

Cakemaster: I love making cakes for my friends. I want them to feel special and important. And of course, it doesn’t hurt to hear them telling me how awesome the cake was. (blushing)

Interviewer: What about the lemon cake?

Cakemaster: As for the lemon cake, it’s my favorite flavor to eat, although I’ve never made a lemon cake myself.

Interviewer: Sounds great.

Cakemaster: Lemon cupcakes are pure heaven.

Interviewer: So what advice would you give to an aspiring cake baker?

Cakemaster: Baking cakes is easy. Just follow the recipe to the letter. Baking is all chemistry; it’s a very precise process. Oh, and don’t waste time sifting your flour. Just buy the pre-sifted kind. And be liberal with the vanilla.

Interviewer: Of course.

Cakemaster: Even though you have to follow a recipe, put your heart into it. Make your cakes with love. The people who eat them will be able to tell. (he smiles and offers me a slice of chocolate layer cake with a whipped peanut butter frosting)

Interviewer: Now this is an amazing cake. Very moist. Very rich.

Cakemaster: From scratch. Glad to hear you like it.

Interviewer: Can you give us the recipe?

Cakemaster: I wish it were mine to give. I mostly find my recipes online, maybe tweak them a little, but generally follow them.

Interviewer: Well, it seems to work. That’s all the time we have. Anything else you have to say?

Cakemaster: I’m always on a diet, but I’ll never turn down a piece of cake. There’s something pure about the sugary deliciousness that transports me to a place of pure bliss. And why would anyone ever turn that down?

Interviewer: (shaking my head) When you put it that way, you can cut me another slice.

Cakemaster: (he smiles and obliges)