Laps: Have you ever wondered where your lap goes when you stand up? I have not. When people ask this question, I think they are ridiculous. A lap is the area from the knee to the stomach when the thigh is perpendicular to the stomach. Asking where the lap is when you stand is like asking where the darkness goes when the light is on.
Larry: Don't call him that--he hates it. He's my best friend and my partner in crime. We're pretty much always together whenever neither of us is at work. Larry (hereafter referred to as Junior) and I have all kinds of adventures together. We go whitewater rafting, watch horror movies, and meet professional wrestlers; it's always fun with him. Even though he's my best friend, I won't let him read this. He'll be mad I told everyone his real name!
Laundry: Laundry is a chore that, in general, I don't mind doing. However, I have certain pet peeves about laundry:
- I can't stand when people leave wet laundry in the washer.
- I can't stand when people leave dry laundry in the dryer.
- I really can't stand when people leave lint in the lint trap.
- I hate when people do their laundry when I am in the shower.
Letters: I don't know that I can put into words the way letters make me feel. I associate them largely with my friend Adam who killed himself in 1999. Letters make me really emotional. I love seeing the words someone chooses to explain his or her life. I get the best letters from Gabrielle. She is a letter-writing-ninja. Over the years, we have competed to write the longest letters. I'm not sure who wins anymore. Gabrielle is a pretty special person, and her writing always amazes me. I definitely owe her a letter right now. I promise it's coming soon.
Libraries: My first job was at a library. I have a tremendous respect for books. I love reading and am grateful for the experiences the library provided me as a child. Unfortunately, I think libraries are slowly (or quickly) becoming obsolete. I'm sure there will always be some people who will continue to want to use them, and I'm sure students will need to use them for research; but I think the common person will stop using the library within 10 years, if he or she has not stopped already. Sad, but true.
Life: I'm a pretty big fan of life.
Lifeguard Certification: One of my proudest achievements. I wasn't sure I could do it--I was not the best swimmer, nor was I in the best shape, nor did I have the best vision. After training myself to build up my speed and endurance, I did fine in the lifeguarding class. I showed myself I could achieve any goal. I was so proud of myself. Life was awesome. Until I started guarding (see Lifeguarding).
Lifeguarding: The most boring job I've ever had. It sounds glamorous, but it's not. Scan the water at least once every ten seconds. Don't talk. Hold a big red foam thing. Scan. Shh. Hold. Scan. Shh. Hold. Scan. Shh. Hold. Scan. Shh. Hold. Scan.
Light Bulbs: It confounds me that some people have not yet installed energy efficient light bulbs.
Acceptable Light Bulb for 2012 Less Acceptable Light Bulb for 2012
Lingering Smells: My whole house smells like bacon. It was totally worth it.
Lions: Lions don't actually live in the jungle. This is a misconception. Also, I think lions are secretly jealous of how awesomely cool tigers are.
Locks: Ever since I was a pretty little kid, I have always locked my bedroom door at night. I was afraid of axe murderers. My mom told me it was silly; an axe murderer would just chop through the door. I didn't care. It still made me feel better to lock the door.
I think locks give us the illusion of safety. I lock pretty much everything, even if it seems unnecessary. I lock my house even when I'm home; I lock my car even when it's empty. It just makes me feel better.
No axe murderer is going to get the best of me.
Losers: Most of the people with whom I went to elementary/junior high/high school are losers. I'm sure some of them are doing great things with their lives. I don't care. Most of them were mean to me. I was labeled a loser. Now all I do is win.
Lying: I don't understand the point of prevarication. The truth is so much simpler. People try too hard to overrepresent themselves. Please don't lie to me. I'd rather know who you really are. After all, we are just human.
Lyrics: I am completely flabbergasted by the lyrics to most popular songs. They are either exceptionally simple and shallow or totally cliche. I enjoy music, but sometimes I get sick of hearing songs that are only about love/sex/cheating/money/fame. Music has become nameless faceless drivel, and it makes me kind of sad. It's our society, though. Music is in, and I'm out.
Photos courtesy of Kevin Rector at http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:CompactFluorescentLightBulb.jpg, Jeff Kubina at http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Light_Bulb.jpg,
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